Diet coke of justice

I was recently laid off from a pretty crappy job. The job itself was well, lame, irritating, tedious and definitely not self full-filling. Over all the job served its purpose...it paid the bills. My master plan was to work here for the year, get health insurance, put a dent in my debt and get out of there after a year. Well, God and the company did not see it my way.  But as irritating as the job was, rejection hurts. It hurts even more when its from something you never wanted. It's just insulting. So after the little meeting, telling me that I wasn't a good fit and that this job was just not for me, I took a diet coke from the office and took it home. When I got home I opened the soda can and drank it with a smile on my face. I call this my diet coke of justice.

ASIANS make things Cuter

I was at an Asian supermarket and had wandered over to the stationary section. There, I was surrounded by doe eyed animals and cartoon characters plastered on any and everything- stationary. It ranged from pencils, folders, paper clips to blankets. Asians just make things cuter.


But the craziest thing, is that they took something like this(something that is already cute):












And made it into this:














damn dog was already cute but some Asian just made the dog cuter!




I am assuming boo is owned by someone who knows J.H. LEE the person behind the book or that J.H. Lee is the owner either way...that's an Asian.

When Pets fight back....

I forgot about how much I liked this photo.....






the moral of the photo....don't eff with goldfish.



title: Revenge of the Goldfish
by: Sandy Skoglund

People Watching

Location: Starbucks...King of Prussia

Here I am at starbucks, using their wifi, trying to find a new job, trying to redo my resume and I can't help but look at the people around me. It's a thursday at 1 pm and people are straight lounging. I find it really interesting to think and wonder about what in the hell do these people do? How do they have the liberty to spend hours at a starbucks and not be at work.



Yes we have the suburban mom. She is wearing a furry vest, very inappropriate high heels for the day time as well as a lot, and i am not exaggerating here, an inch layer of foundation on her face. I am afraid to walk by her, that maybe the dust from her caked on face might stain my shirt. She is drinking her skinny latte chatting on her smartphone making appointments. Hair appointment, nail appointment, lunch with the "girls" appointment and of course to remember to take her kids to x,y,z. She wouldn't be a soccer mom if she didn't take the kids somewhere.

And over yonder we have the young adult/ probably college student catching up with friends from home. Of course wearing uggs, sweat pants and a northface jacket.


In the corner of the cafe is a group of people having a business meeting...I mean i am assuming as such because there is a laptop, a power point presentation and four grown men huddled around it as if it were the first fire man had created. Did i mention that neither the men or the computer fit around the tiny circular table that starbucks provides. After a couple of minutes or so, one of them would lean back to stretch and then wiggle his way back in to the group.



Then there is a man sitting on the couch who just churns my curiosity. He is wearing a sweatshirt, pajama pants which have skull and crossbones all over it. He has been on his phone for the last hour, and has not looked up even once. what the hell do you do? Are you a secret millionaire, a trustfund baby, or are u a guy who just works at nights....

New Obsession : DUNKIN DONUTS

One of the best things that I ever did was stop by a Dunkin Donuts and decided to try this new flatbread sandwich....oh how the heavens had smiled upon me that morning.

Dunkin Donuts is an under appreciated american establishment. It truly embodies the American dream whilst serving up fresh coffee and delicious treats and meals. I pity those who have not had the priveledge...NAY the honor of sampling their various pastries and sandwiches. Every Dunking Donuts I have ever been to is staffed by a group of immigrants. I commend those men and women who wake up at the wee hours of the morning to brew coffee for corporate America. They help start the days of various people from all walks of life. Anyway back to the sandwich....

I got the turkey sausage flat bread sandwich. The bread was warm and a little toasted and was filled with a piece of cheese and a turkey sausage omelet in it....it was wonderful...and i hate cheese. It was just warm and filling and quite flavorful. I would reccommend this to anyone wanting to get breakfast on the go. The best part about it, was that it wasn't greasy or feel super fatty. I was so obsessed about it that i looked up the nutritional value. It has 8 grams of fat and 280 calories vs the egg mcmuffin which as 300 calories and 12 grams of fat. All in all i was a satisfied and happy customer....

after reading this post, it should have been a yelp review...

Louis Theroux ....marry me

Many would say that I am attracted to a certain type of man. A man who is tall, lanky, bushy hair and has an insatiable appetite for knowledge. A man who needs the aid of spectacles in order to see, a man who is a DORK. Here we have such a man.

Louis Theroux- born in Singapore, grew up in England, went to Oxford and started a career in journalism. Look at that hair, look at those (swoon) glasses, this man is not only a dork, but a dork WITH AN ACCENT. HOT! Mr. Theroux has done a number of interviews and shows which in my opinion, stirred my curiosity

Many of the topics that he chooses to highlight are concepts that people are skeptical about. He may take jabs at his subjects, but he asks what every normal person would want to know if given the opportunity to meet said subjects.

On one such episode, Mr. Theroux submerged himself with, "The most hated family in america- The core members of the Westboro Church, in Topeka, Kansas." These are the people that would rally at soldier's funerals and would picket anything related to the Gay community. It was interesting to see how he interacted with the family and church, as well as trying to understand their ideologies....needless to say he would ask a question and they would respond with...YOU ARE EVIL...nice rebuttal.

His shows are entertaining and like all good shows he makes the audience think. After every episode i can't help but wiki or google the crap out of whatever person or topic he talks to. He says, "The subjects I'm interested in are quite extreme. They're so far beyond the pale of normal human interaction that you're never going to get a reality show on that territory." But the best thing about Mr. Theroux, is that whatever he believes in or no matter how ridiculous the person is...he never maliciously mocks anyone, presses his beliefs on them and has a certain sweetness about him when interacting with anyone.

He sums up himself perfectly with this-

"You have to be ethical and straightforward but also make people comfortable enough to be themselves. If they take issue with the way I portray them - but I feel that how I portray them is how they are - I don't think there's a problem. Sometimes, people have a different idea of who they are from who they really are. That's when feelings get hurt. But I don't think being a journalist in any way absolves you of the obligation to be a decent human being."

So Mr. Theroux...Louis.....I have a question FOR YOU..........

I recently just saw the....

I just saw this movie- you might have heard of it, it's called the SOCIAL NETWORK. IF you have facebook you know what its about.









!!!!!NOTE: DUE TO THE ADVANCES THAT MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS CULTIVATED THE WAY WE COMMUNICATE WITH ONE AND THAT THE SOCIAL NETWORK BECAME A BENCHMARK IN THE WAY WE DISPLAY OUR EXPRESSIONS AND FEELINGS, I THOUGHT I WOULD PAY HOMAGE TO SOME OF THE MORE ARCHAIC FORMS OF PERSONAL DISPOSTION: THE EMOTICON!!!!!!!

THIS MOVIE:






This movie IS strangely interesting.....











.....Made me take a good look at my friendships and myself.












.....then it made me super depressed-that guy gave away 65 million away like it was a "speeding ticket", gave one guy 5 percent stock in Facebook (worth over a couple billion) the man is one of the youngest billionaires......



.........then i began to think..................................................




WHAT THE EFF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prepayphones.smartphones.iphones.droids. oh my

I recently joined the 21st century and upgraded my phone and my plan to something a little more high tech and a little more reception abundant.

So i went from something like this...a kyocera cell phone from virgin mobile...this picture does not do it justice...the animations were not as visible nor as smooth. The only thing my phone could do was text and make phone calls, and that was only if I was NOT IN A DEAD ZONE...which was rare. I would drop calls left and right and there was a time when I could not or receive texts because of an error with virgin that lasted for a full 27 hours. The most advanced thing my phone posessed was that it had only three colors to mess around with. I paid 40 dollars a month for 1200 minutes and unlimited texting. The best adjective to describe the phone/plan was SIMPLE.


After months of complaints from me and from my friends- to get a REAL phone I have conceded. My boyfriend was very impressed to see that I have grown into a big girl phone. I have upgraded to a "real" plan and to an "real" android phone and the phone scares me. I don't like admitting that an inatimate object intimidates the poop out of me, but it does. Yes on the up side this mini computer can do so much: it synced up all my emails, social networking sites, and contacts with just a little swype of the finger. It has megapixels, a keyboard, applications an freaking HD camcorder....I spent the last three days just picking out a wallpaper for the phone. And yes Orwell did mess me up, by implementing the concept of "big brother" but I guess I was on the radar the minute I got an email address. or social security number, whatever.



In the end, yes I got a new phone and service mostly to subdue my friends' complaints and my own. But I miss the simple life.

My New Pet Peeve

Teaching ESL has taught me a couple of things. One major rule to understand and to make your students understand is that the English language is always changing. It is always evolving, it is a great example of how popular culture and how people continuously repeat an action to then consider it to be normal. Well one such instance would be the word- AIN'T. It is not a real word, it is not a conjugation of anything, but due to popular demand and usage it has now become a regular in the English vernacular as well as in webster's dictionary. I have accepted the fact that sometimes we as a culture should embrace change. The one thing I CANNOT ACCEPT are people using chat acronyms in their verbal conversations!

OH HELL NO!!!!!

I am totally for using short hand messages while on chat or text, but to then verbalize it while talking to someone is an offense that is punishable by a punch in the face. I have a friend, who used to get charged per text. So when she would send a text, she would try to fit everything on one page. One of her text went a little like this:

Hi at the lbry thn 2 th cffee shp, wrtng ppr fr clss n wll c cldia 4 dnnr wnt 2 cum 2 dnnr mtng at vggi bar. by.


translation: HI AT THE LIBRARY THEN GOING TO THE COFFEE SHOP, WRITING A PAPER FOR CLASS AND WILL SEE CLAUDIA FOR DINNER WANT TO COME TO DINNER WE ARE MEETING AT THE VEGGIE BAR. B YE

I find it comical that people who say, L-O-L actually might think its shorter to say then LAUGH OUT LOUD....its the same number of syllables! But then to shorten it so saying LOLS, makes me want to put acid in my eardrums.

There are also those who use the term OMG. Whenever I hear a teenager scream these letters, my body naturally shudders and I give the speaker the look of death. I get even more irritated when people slowly pronounce each letter for dramatic effect...ITS THE SAME AS OH MY GOSH- JUST FREAKING SAY OH MY GOSH/God! What the hell is wrong with you?!?!?!?!

As the younger generation pulls up in the ranks, I am petrified that they will develop a language that lacks vowels and syllables, I pity the immigrants of 2020...they are screwed. They have to learn how to spell and then learn how to drop letters in order to understand and communicate with people of America.

New Obsession: Storage Wars

My last post about reality TV still stands true. I still think that people who do nothing should not be famous. They just perpetuate the annoying mentality that the more ridiculous you are the more money you can earn. That whole concept annoys me. I know I still watch it, but to be fair I am confined to my house.

Anyways, I stumbled upon this show called STORAGE WARS. The show concentrates on 4 men who have been in the "storage bidding business" for over a number of years. They each have their little nicknames, like "the gambler", "the young gun", and "the collector", to make the show a little more kitschy. The premise of the show is that a bunch of people go to storage units and bid on the contents. This is of course after the renter has been delinquent on their storage payments and so their belongings are up for auction. The crazy part is that the bidders are only allowed to look at the unit for five minutes and can't actually enter it, or open any of the boxes. So basically people don't know what they are bidding on. The show is like a cross between Lets Make a Deal and Antique Roadshow.

When each storage unit has been bidded on, the winning bidder rummages through his newest belongings. Here is the kicker, there are things in there that are worth THOUSANDS. On one episode the guy bidded on a unit for $450. Sadly he could have gotten it for less if he wasn't in a bidding war with another guy. But after winning a unit he didn't want, he lucked out and found out that the boxes in the back contained a crazy amount of sports memorabilia. So that $450 dollar unit made him over $5,000.

So what makes this reality show different from others? Well reality shows come in two categories: 1) People who do something 2) People who do nothing. For example, the people on storage wars, the bidding, the units, the stuff they sell- this is their livelihood. Its their bread and butter. Watching Deadliest Catch gets me all amped up, because it's guys trying to earn a living, trying to get out there and fish in the coldest waters of the world. I think A&E and Discovery pretty much are my new favorite networks.


I need to bid on some storage units.

They ARE NOT the REAL housewives.....

Since being confined to my couch and watching TV on the endless amounts of channels that Fios provides, I have unwillingly adapted new shows into my regular viewing rotation. Sadly, these shows are neither good, intellectually stimulating or even posses a story line. Instead these shows have selfish people, crazed fame whores, and mind numbing conversations. So here is my question- why in the hell do I (people) watch crap reality shows? Sober shows are the worst shows. Now I am not just talking about drugs and alcohol. People can get high/drunk off of power and money. There are so many things out in the world that people get addicted to and that is why, we as viewers continuously watch these train wrecks. I hate admitting that I watch these shows- but I will still HATE ON them.

Example one: The Sarah Palin Show
She is Alaskan, has a funny accent and half the show is watching the wildlife of Alaska....if I wanted wildlife I would have switched to National Geographic and the Discovery channel, there is nothing that Sarah Palin could show me that I wouldn't find more entertaining then on those two channels. PLANET EARTH IS THE ISH!
Example two: The Jersey Shore
I know this show is terrible, how can you support a show which displays people at their social worst? How can you take people who have nicknames like, "the Situaiton", "Snooki", and "Jwow" seriously? How in the hell did these people gross over a couple million a year? The Situation is pretty much one step away from being a rapist. He claims to get all this booty, but man, after watching that show, the man has to work really really hard for it. (no pun intended) He may have a nice body, but listening to him "charm" girls into coming home with him, is like listening to nails on a chalkboard. It's terrible. Snooki, is just dumb. I know she means well, but dumb is dumb and so that in itself is an addicting thing to watch. Their drunken escapades had made them the highest paid dumbasses.
Example three: Any and ALL of the Real Housewives of city X,Y,Z
I hate admitting to actually watching any of these episodes. But why GOD is it so fascinating to watch over privileged women gossip about other over privileged women all the while in their over priced outfits, that could finance a village in Africa or Detroit. Ugh, so here's to you Real Housewives - I want to punch you in the face for your insane spending sprees, your petty augments and your mightier then thou attitude. Good for you, glad you banged someone who could support your manis and pedis. Ugh.

Remake THIS!

Hollywood has been pretty lazy. They are remaking everything. Its starting to make me upset. TV shows, old movies, and even taking ideas from abroad and trying to revamp it into this original and hip idea, (when IT'S NOT) has me concerned for the movie makers of America. I imagine some random producer, watching TV and trying to fall sleep in bed, he channel surfs and just lands on Nick at Nite or USA and it happens to be in the middle of an A-Team marathon. When he finally wanders to lalala land, he thinks about how funny the A-Team and how original it would be to make a movie of them, because well its a very simple storyline. He wakes up and there you have it, a remake. I am sick of these remakes, I am sick of them not even being a quarter as entertaining as its predecessor. See I would not complain so much if the original shows or movies were just crap, but they weren't. They were great shows and even better movies, why remake it? For example- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The original was amazing! Gene Wilder played a wonderful aloof, sneaky and smarter then he looks Willy Wonka, with his brood of orange morally instilled midgets!

I applaud you Tim Burton for your fantastical imagery and use of exuberant colors, but the original movie did not need to be tampered with. Johnny Depp was just...strange with and underlying tone of creepy. Not a good personality trait for a children's movie.

I know that a lot of people will give me crap about remakes, cause well its basically retelling the story for the next generation. Sadly with every remake, redo, rendition, things change. After enough changes, then its a completely different story and only a shell of a character which might resemble a story that someone once heard. Ugh, it angers me so.

Here are some more horribly ventured remakes that have burnt through my retinas.

Planet of the Apes:



<---this was good. this was bad---->







There are a ton of other movies I could list...but I don't have the manpower for the insane amount of terrible remakes.

HOLLYWOOD- GET SOME NEW MATERIAL!

Surgery Sucks

Surgery. Talk about a means to an end. I have always been so accident prone. I have the kind of luck where if the wind blew, a trash can would come and hit me in the face. My luck is so bad that, once at a party a 12 foot wooden structure fell perpendicular onto my shin...TWICE! Its no surprise that I have seen the inside of a operating room numerous times. This is one such story:

My friends were throwing a party at their apartment which was on the 8 floor at the end of a very, very long hallway. I had arrived kind of late to it, and bringing two of my friends. Now everyone knows, if you come late to a party, it's almost guaranteed that nearly every attendant is probably inebriated to some extent, if not completely plastered. Well this party was no exception. I came in started to mingle and make my rounds. An hour or so into the party, my roommate at the time (who was a south American, oh i am really tough, but no really a kind of sissy, but likes to fight when he's a drunk idiot) came up to me and asked- Hey Bro lets wrestle.

Now thinking that this would be a funny idea, and not thinking that he would actually take it seriously, i agreed to the proposed activity. There we were, standing in front of each other, only about a foot away from each other, both ready to attack. But thinking that it was just a joke, I smiled and said- I can't wrestle, and went in to hug him. Well Mr. Machismo took that as a sign of an attack and proceeded to take my body, twist it, and throw me on the ground and then landing on top of me. When I hit the floor I heard a crack/snap. Something was horribly wrong, something broke. I looked down and stared at my left foot. Then it dawned on me, FEET DON'T TURN THAT WAY!!!! My left foot was hanging at an impossible angle off of my ankle. I started to freak out, screaming at people, telling them something was wrong. This was a mistake. Never FREAK OUT AT A PARTY WHERE EVERYONE IS WASTED!

The party attendants all went into hyper drive. People were talking, trying to figure out how to get me to the hospital, one drunk claimed he could snap the ankle back into place, another drunk started jumping over my leg, and then a friend decked him and said stay away from her. Someone had just taken some sort of criminal class and went around asking everyone for a statement. All the while I am lying there, with my head in a friend's lap. She says to me, hey its not that bad, it totally looks ok, and then she looks up and mouths- oh my god it's totally broken. While this was all going on the only thing I could think about was...damn i could really use a cigarette right now.

Zombies are great

I have a new obesession- its called the WALKING DEAD:



I love this show. Yes its a lot like every other zombie movie. Yes it uses the same plot. Yes they use the same method as every other zombie movie of how a person turns into a zombie. But damn I love them zombies! There is an attraction of people fighting something so ugly!




When it comes down to it, its just the basic instinct of survival. That is all: on the human and zombie side. They are just really really hungry. And we have all been there, you know so hungry that you get angry, cranky and semi pissed off. I especially can't focus on conversations if there is food around and I still haven't had anything to snack on and I am starving. That is the worse. So long story short, when confronted with a zombie just give him a snack.

This House is the ISH!

WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE IN THIS KIND OF HOUSE!!!!!!!!

It's the ISH

Sometimes

There are many moments in my life where I feel like this:
---I am confused, frustrated, irritated by the various responsibilities that life has handed me.
---I get tired of the incompetency that seem abundant amongst those who have a say in my said responsibilities. So that annoying phone service provider, I despise you and your late charges. To the cable/internet provider- damn you and your insane amount of HD channels, which I totally blame my lack of attention on!!!!



(on a side note- did you ever look up the word provider in a thesaurus? It frightens me that its synoymns are: laborer, income producer, goodman, and even father! How dare the internet, cable and phone companies believe that they are so important, so valuable to be cast into a category full of necessity and priority.)


But then I take a breath and watch a video off of

www.ted.com


it makes me feel better and think that you know what, that annoying operator at the customer service desk has to work just like everyone else, and probably hates her job more then i hate her. So all is right in the world. And now I feel more like this

Um...meet my friend...

There are many times in my life where strange coincidences happen that many could categorize as: ridiculous. This is one of those times.
As I mentioned before, my mother's pastor lives in the same building/floor as my new beau. Well technically they live two doors down from each other. After acquiring this new information, I became quite cautious about entering and leaving the premises. You know checking corners, making a run for it whenever i hear the door open, doing double takes of any Asian in the area...that sort of thing.
Well one night, I had gone over to my guy's place to just have a nice relaxing night of movies and popcorn. For some reason it was a surprisingly hot night and I had suggested to make an ice cream run. While descending in the elevator we were discussing the day's events and deciding on ice cream flavors...since he lives on the ninth floor, it had taken awhile for the doors to open, so when they did, I just automatically walked through, not realizing it was the first floor. When I lifted my eyes, who do you think was staring back at me...no not my mother's pastor, not his wife or his children...but MY PARENTS!

Yes mama and papa Park were on the first floor of the apartment building, staring at me with a confused and yet angry expression...so I did what any offspring would do when they got caught doing what they weren't suppose to....I pretended that I didn't know what was going on. I grabbed my mom around the shoulder and escorted her into the elevator chatting in Korean with my father in tow. All the while my guy is standing in the corner of the elevator, confused and bewildered.
My mother asks ( in Korean) What i was doing here? I just stood dumbfounded with my mouth wide open, hoping that something, anything would come out to give a logical explanation as to WHY i was there....never have I felt where the term something is better then nothing ever hold so true. All i could utter was- WHY WERE YOU GUYS ON THE FIRST FLOOR?!?!?!
My father responded- oh we thought the first floor was the floor to get out. ( silly fobs)
During the time it took to go from the first floor to the ground floor, my mother machine gun questions me in Korean: What are you doing here, is this where you have been hanging out? are you going to be out late? What time are you coming home? who is that guy in the corner? is that your shirt?!?!
While the Korean interrogation was stamping out my will to live, my guy friend taps me on the shoulder and asks, hey what's going on?
I turn to him with my head low, and my soul weakened, and said in English, Ben meet my parents, mom and dad- this is Ben... as quizzical as he once was, he then turned his smiles of curiosity to a surprising OH!
When we departed ways on Ground floor, my mother smiled a sly good bye to Ben and through her tight lipped expression, she looked at me and said- I WILL SEE YOU AT HOME.

I pushed Ben behind a pillar and stood wide eyed and panting- I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die, oh my god I'm gonna die. That is how my parents first met my boyfriend...

You live where!?!?!?!?!??

I had started dating this guy on the down low. Not a lot of people knew about him or that I was staying at his place till the wee hours of the night.

One day, my mother- a god fearing, church attending, do gooding woman took it upon herself to bring her pastor's daughter to our house, so that I would/should entertain the girl with a dinner and movie and then a ride back to her place. (I think my mother just set up a play date for me) The daughter lives with her parents ( my parent's pastor) and her younger sister. I told my mother that I would take good care of the little girl and make sure she has a nice time. (this sounds like a weird first date). While chatting with the young miss, I questioned where she resided to get a better feel on where to drop her off. the conversation went like this:
Me: so where do you live, so i can make sure I know where to drop you off.
Pastor's Daughter: I live in Radnor, at a place called the Radwood Apartments...
Me thinking( what the hell the guy I am seeing lives there): OH really???
Pastor's Daughter: Yeah have you heard of it....
Me: Oh yeah I have, um just out of curosity what floor do you live on?
Pastor's Daughter: on the ninth floor.....
Me thinking (what the hell, he lives on the ninth floor): oh how is the view I am sure its really lovely.. um one more question, i know this might sound weird, what room do you and your paretns, and your sister live in?
Pastor's Daughter: oh 908.....
Me thinking(holy crap! he lives in 902 they ive 2 doors away from each other.): Cool lets go watch that movie.

Being Back Home

a haiku

Philadelphia

Parents put me on lock down

I am 28....

makes me feel like this---------------------------->>>