Surgery Sucks

Surgery. Talk about a means to an end. I have always been so accident prone. I have the kind of luck where if the wind blew, a trash can would come and hit me in the face. My luck is so bad that, once at a party a 12 foot wooden structure fell perpendicular onto my shin...TWICE! Its no surprise that I have seen the inside of a operating room numerous times. This is one such story:

My friends were throwing a party at their apartment which was on the 8 floor at the end of a very, very long hallway. I had arrived kind of late to it, and bringing two of my friends. Now everyone knows, if you come late to a party, it's almost guaranteed that nearly every attendant is probably inebriated to some extent, if not completely plastered. Well this party was no exception. I came in started to mingle and make my rounds. An hour or so into the party, my roommate at the time (who was a south American, oh i am really tough, but no really a kind of sissy, but likes to fight when he's a drunk idiot) came up to me and asked- Hey Bro lets wrestle.

Now thinking that this would be a funny idea, and not thinking that he would actually take it seriously, i agreed to the proposed activity. There we were, standing in front of each other, only about a foot away from each other, both ready to attack. But thinking that it was just a joke, I smiled and said- I can't wrestle, and went in to hug him. Well Mr. Machismo took that as a sign of an attack and proceeded to take my body, twist it, and throw me on the ground and then landing on top of me. When I hit the floor I heard a crack/snap. Something was horribly wrong, something broke. I looked down and stared at my left foot. Then it dawned on me, FEET DON'T TURN THAT WAY!!!! My left foot was hanging at an impossible angle off of my ankle. I started to freak out, screaming at people, telling them something was wrong. This was a mistake. Never FREAK OUT AT A PARTY WHERE EVERYONE IS WASTED!

The party attendants all went into hyper drive. People were talking, trying to figure out how to get me to the hospital, one drunk claimed he could snap the ankle back into place, another drunk started jumping over my leg, and then a friend decked him and said stay away from her. Someone had just taken some sort of criminal class and went around asking everyone for a statement. All the while I am lying there, with my head in a friend's lap. She says to me, hey its not that bad, it totally looks ok, and then she looks up and mouths- oh my god it's totally broken. While this was all going on the only thing I could think about was...damn i could really use a cigarette right now.